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Thursday, 7 April 2011

What's the point? (Part 1)

Recently I have noticed more and more things which I literally cannot find a purpose for in any way, shape or form, so I have put this blog together to highlight these irritating issues, objects etc. I hope you enjoy.

The first thing that caught my attention and inevitably annoyed me enough to write this blog were a group of "Free Runners" in Sheffield Peace Gardens. Now for those of you who aren't fortunate enough to know what this is and what it entails, I will provide you with a brief outline of this truly fantastic concept which is provided from Wikipedia. 

"Free Running is a form of Urban acrobatics in which the participants, who are known as Free Runners, use the city and rural landscape to perform movements through its structures. It incorporates efficient movements from parkour, adds aesthetic vaults and other acrobatics, such as tricking and street stunts, creating an athletic and aesthetically pleasing way of moving", apparently. So when I saw these Free Runners performing their public acrobatic display it got me wondering what is the benefit of doing such a thing? Are these people seriously that mentally unstable that walking to and from destinations does not fulfil their requirements for a short trip across town? These people would not look out of place in a Zoo in the monkey enclosure, what more would they need aside a tyre on a rope and walls to run into?

The particular individual Free Runner who caught my attention was one who was walking up a set of stairs in a handstand on his hands, as if to show to everyone else present as he performed this stunt that his way of getting up stairs was much easier, practical and generally a more sensible option. After a brief moment of time contemplating what was going through the mind of this particular Free Runner, I came to the conclusion that he was simply a moron who really believes that walking on your specially designed and formed feet is old fashioned and his 'new' intuitive way of transporting his 'finely tuned body' from a lower level to one that is higher by using his hands instead, was clearly the new way forward. Oh how naive we all have been, based on this I might start making my cup of tea in the morning with my feet, once I have gone downstairs on my hands that is. Then again, I can see why Heather Mills might find it an appealing way to get up sets of stairs.

Another truly pointless creation which has got me wondering why bother inventing it is Non-Alcoholic Beer. Now before I go on to rant about this I know it is made for those who do not want to drink alcohol but like the taste of beer. That is not what I am challenging, I am challenging the concept of something so pointless, why would these companies put so much money into funding this product development purely because there are fussy people who want the best of both worlds. Someone should tell them that you cannot have the best of both worlds, just look at Charlie Sheen, he has had the best of many worlds for too long now and it has all fallen to pieces. Also why would anybody take these people seriously? Who honestly says that they want to have an alcoholic drink which is not alcoholic just so that they can 'fit in' and not be judged because they wont be drink driving that particular evening after a work function. Oh wait. Anyway, it is a pointless creation, just like Decaffeinated Coffee.

Why do people choose to drink coffee, I would naturally assume that it was drunk because of the stimulating influence it has upon the consumer. That stimulation which is gained from drinking a cup of coffee comes from the caffeine, which gives you that huge boost of energy, awareness and enthusiasm which we all need on a weekday morning. So tell me this, if that is what coffee is for, why would someone want to be able to drink it and gain no benefit from the cup of coffee? Surely that is the same as drinking a glass of Orange Juice without the Vitamin C, totally pointless in every possible way.

Another thing that has caused me to become annoyed are people who wear T-Shirts which have an overly stretched neck line and trousers with an overly exaggerated crotch, why do it? I can only imagine that they do it because their ego's mean they are so big headed it is the only possibly way a T-Shirt would fit on them, where the big headedness is further increased due to the need for a baggy crotch because of their enormous fantasy cocks which will only be held in by a huge pair of low crotch chinos, right?

Also what is the deal with American English, this is supposedly a totally separate and different language yet it is essentially English for dyslexic people. Why put this silly alteration of the English language on a Word Processing Program which will not highlight blatant spelling mistakes because it has chosen to go into American English Language mode? The main use of the Word Processor is to type up literature which will be accurately spelt and if any mistakes arise then the computer will literally do the thinking for you and alert you to your faults. But instead it sometimes goes into the spin off substandard language they use across the pond and the computer also becomes illiterate, therefore defeating the purpose of why you are using it. So basically if they had not let the Americans ruin the English language we would not face these problems. At what point was it that people decided that normal English was not good enough and its correctly spelt words needed re-structuring? I personally have never heard anyone complain about the English language and how the words were spelt, as far as I am aware the way it is now is widely accepted as fine and in no need of change, so why did someone let the Americans get hold of it and mess it all up, which is a question that can be applied to a wide range of topics such as World Peace, but lets not go there for now.

So there was a brief rant about what has been annoying me recently, I hope you enjoyed it. If not then keep your comments to yourself as they will probably irritate me and cause me to write another blog in your honour. Thanks.

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