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Thursday, 17 March 2011

One womans lie about an affair which got seriously out of hand...

So here is my first attempt to write a humorous yet serious article about a controversial topic, if at all possible. So when deciding what to write I thought why not start with one of the most widely debated topics ever know to humanity, religion but in particular Christianity.

So let's start at the beginning so that we do not lose anyone along this 100% factual journey explaining to us in a fascinating book called the Holy Bible, you may have heard of it. The Holy Bible is a collection of sacred scripture from various branches of Christianity. Despite this particular book not being specifically categorised as to which area of literature it falls into, fiction or non-fiction (I will let you be the judge, but if you are asking me it is all a load of magical stories which are less believable than Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings), it has gone on to be the bestselling book of all time in its various forms.

Anyway if I were to explain the whole book it would take forever, so in the long and short of it the book basically states that the world was created in 6 days by a supernatural being who is Omniscient, Omnibenevolent, Omnipotent and Omnipresent. The world was then left to two human beings, a man and a woman, who were also made by this interventionalist deity out of dust and a man’s rib respectively. Which is perfectly reasonable considering this is an Omnipotent entity, but if this deity were Omnipotent could it create a weight which it could not lift? Anyway more of that later.

So these two humans were left to roam the Garden of Eden but were told not to eat the apple from the tree. They met a talking snake who stitches them right up and they eat the apple and God gets mad, he then banished them from the garden and made all other humans who descend from them (surely inbred?) to suffer for their actions.

So a couple of years or so down the line, this boy called Jesus is born to a mother called Mary, who was the result of the immaculate conception which somehow many so called "Christians" do not know, and a father called Joseph who did a Woodwork NVQ. This baby Jesus turns out to be God the Son incarnated, who would have thought it? So Jesus was sent down from the heavens to guide the ignorant people on Earth as their Messiah, and yes if you were wondering he was allowed outside despite being a very naughty boy.

So Jesus went through his life performing "miracles", which are described as: "a transgression of a law of nature by the volition of a deity", which turns out to be a rather large grey area which is surprising considering the credibility of the Holy Bible and the concepts which it contains within. Now bearing in mind that Law's of Nature are what has been observed throughout time and therefore anything is possible to happen, for example that water once turned into wine then that would be considered a Law of Nature as it is something that has happened and been previously observed and known to the present day. Also in this case the deity would be Christ himself, as we all know he is clearly God the Son Incarnate. So what I am trying to say is that the events that occurred when Jesus was involved are simply by definition events that have occurred and that in turn makes them fall within the Law's of Nature and not some magical explanation. Surely they are not miracles then?

Despite all the miracles he did, Jesus ended up being crucified to atone the rest of humanity for sin or being a poor magician, you can make your own minds up there. Naturally he died and was placed in a cave which was his burial chamber. Three days later his followers went to check on him and he was not anywhere to be seen. As you do when you die, three days later you just get up and walk about for 40 days before actually dying, so either Jesus wasn't dead or the story is a load of bollocks, again make of it what you will.

Jesus finally did the decent thing and returned to heaven and a good 500 years later people decided to actually write down the stories which they had heard about this Jesus character, how could any of the key information or facts possibly be lost 500 years down the line by stories being passed on by word of mouth like a big game of mythical Chinese Whispers? Exactly, it couldn't as any reasonable Christian will inform you.

So these books were formed from the disciples’ stories and they were called the Gospels, titled Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Then over the years the books which the Bible is made up of were taken out and put in and the final decision fell into the hands of King James I in 1604 who had the Holy Bible translated and altered so that it could be fully appreciated by the wider world. Again this method could not affect the credibility of such a text after it being passed down from generation to generation to then be translated from language to language, as we all know that translating on Google provides us with such an accurate answer as did this method, so there is no reason why we should doubt this text.

Now 400 years further on here we are living in a country where the laws and rules are based upon this sacred text. Where we still foolishly rely upon these dated principles to assist us in such difficult decisions, such as are we to let the dying let go of life? Are we allowed to terminate a pregnancy at a certain point? Is it socially acceptable to be homosexual? How can we rationally rely upon such a dated and biased text which was formed in roughly 2000 years ago to help govern and manage decisions in a modern and ever developing society and an ever changing world, when this book is simply a story which has got out of hand and into the hands of far too many gullible people who would literally believe anything if enough people told them it were true. Let's just hope in a further 2000 years time that people will worship a figure called Albus Dumbledore and they will look at Harry Potter as their prophet and Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger as Harry's disciples and that they were in fact real people who performed such daring and magical acts that they are worthy of being worshipped, but let's face it they are probably being worshipped already.

I may be called narrow minded because of my views but I am a firm believer that if you open your mind to much, your brain might just fall out.